


Identity Crisis

by DreamingIsReality



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: BoyxBoy, Bully Louis, Changed, Gay, Humor, Laughter, M/M, Mystery, Nerd Harry, loucel - Freeform, marcel - Freeform, new, somanyotherstuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-24 13:54:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 15,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/940753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingIsReality/pseuds/DreamingIsReality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marcel was what people would call a ‘nerd’ or ‘dork’, nobody really liked him enough to take interest in him, he was simply the loner in the back of the classroom, the loner that was consistently  picked on. He hated his high school, but not only just the school but everyone in it. Once his school days were over & he got accepted at ManchesterUniversity, he swore off his ‘nerdy ways’ as he liked to call it. So before he goes to his new university he decides it’d be best if he got a make over, a make over to make him into a completely different person, a new person so there was no Marcel left.  Once he sets foot into his University he is now known as Harry Styles, not Marcel Styles. But what is poor Marcel to do when he gets put in a dorm with his old bully? & he then has to befriend him & his friends? To make matters worse he has to try & keep them from discovering that he really was, or is Marcel Styles. Things soon get complicated though when someone start to get on his tracks, trying to cover his tracks while still maintaining a close relationship with his new ‘friends’ & passing his classes. Things really start to go down hill though when he starts to fall for a certain someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I took a deep breath as I ran my fingers through my curls, I used the back of my hand to then wipe off the sweat on my forehead due to my nervousness. I was beyond nervous to move into my dorm room, I was now almost regretting not buying a flat next to the campus like my mum suggested, but me wanting to get the whole university experience wanted to stay in the dorms.

 

If my high school years were nothing but crap I at least wanted my University years to be fun, have the time of my life, not wanting it to end; unlike my high school days…

 

You see when I was in high school I was a complete nerd… & I suppose I still posses a few of the qualities but, I’ll never go back to fully being the way that I was. My fashion sense is a lot better now, same with my hair…. I actually let my curls fly free instead of having them gelled back, in an unfashionly manner. 

 

I suppose I should introduce my self huh? Well my name is Marcel Styles or now I kind of go bye Harry Styles. Marcel Styles is pretty much dead to me, sad to say but it’s the truth. That side of my murdered my high school days, that side of me made me miserable; that side of my made me hate my life almost every second of the day. That side of me was the worst.

 

 

I’m new and improved now I guess you could say.

 

 

Instead of my big black glasses that covered my whole face I now wear contacts. Instead of vest sweaters and high pants that always gave me a wedgies, besides the times that people actually did give me wedgies… But now I wear skinny jeans and sometime tight V neck shirts, and I now go to the gym regularly to work out, so I am not longer a weakling anymore. I also had a number of tattoo’s covering my arms.

 

 

Pretty much I changed not only my name but my whole appearance. To bad I couldn’t also change my horrible personality. I wish I could because then I would no longer be the awkward guy.

 

 

Pulling out of my thoughts I saw that the dorms were finally up in front of me & I was standing at the steps. I carefully pulled my bags up the amount of steps, due to all my working out I actually wasn't winded like I would be if I was still puiney…

 

 

Once I was up to the top I hauled out my paper that had my room on it, sighing I traveled to my room. On my way up their I had to dodge people so I wouldn’t get hit & fall over, I didn’t need that.

 

Finally I arrived at my dorm, putting my stuff in one hand and I put the key into the door & then proceeded to open it. Once that was done I herd voices coming from inside & I guessed my roommate is already moved in. Closing the door behind me I walked a little further into the room to make myself noticed & Once I was in I looked around and force on the spot.

 

 

“Oh Hey you must be my new roommate? I’m Louis by the way Louis Tomlinson.” I gulped, just when I thought I could get away from… them, they come back.


	2. Chapter 2

I just kind of stared at him for a few minutes, he probably thinks I’m a freak but holy shit! He still looks the same. He has the same brown hair except this time he has his hair in a quiff. He also still wears skinny jeans and tank tops. But his eyes oh fuck his eyes were still as blue as ever.

 

“Uh.” I herd his voice breaking the awkward silence that seems to follow me wherever I go.

 

“Oh I’m sorry you just seem familiar is all.” I force a smile to make my lie seem some what believable, because he doesn’t need to know that I went to his high school. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

 

“Ah I see, its all good mate! So what is your name? Because if I have to live with ya for the rest of the year it would be nice to know.” He gave me a cheeky grin.

 

He is still as cheeky as ever, I don’t think that is going to change either…

 

“Well if you must know the same is Harry. Harry Styles.” I brought up my hand & gave him a fist punch that my cousin actually thought me…

 

“Hm Styles you say?” I feel my eyes go wide a bit.

 

 

Shit I should of known that he would of reconized my last name! fuck what was I thinking? Why didn’t I just change my last name to my mums name? Life would be easier if I would of went by Harry Cox, I wouldn’t get these questions…. I have to say something quick because he is just kind of staring at me, awaiting my answer.

 

“Yeah Styles, do you have a problem with that?” I raise an eyebrow.

 

Wow nice one Styles, right on the spot too! Yes I did well.

 

“Oh no its nothing wrong with the name it just I remember someone from my High School with the same last name.” He answers.

 

 

Shit, he remembered….

 

“Oh really what was his name?” Please don’t say it was me, please let it be another Styles.

 

 

“His name was Marcel Styles why do you know him?” He cocked his eyebrow, awaiting my answer.

 

 

Oh shit come on Harry think of something quick!

 

“Oh no I don’t know anyone by that name.” I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly.

 

‘Oh, so I was going down stairs to meet up with some of my friends, do you wanna join?”| wait is he seriously asking if I wanted to join him? Where the hell is the old Louis? The old Louis was ruthless; also he never wanted people hanging out with him & His friends.

 

“Aw nah mate I think I’m going to just settle in. Thanks for the offer though.” I send him a smile, which he returned…Weird.

 

“Alright then mate! See you soon.” He pats my back before exiting the room, leaving me there wondering, wondering what the hell happened to Louis Tomlinson.

 

The Louis Tomlinson I remember didn’t care about anyone, as long as they weren’t his close friends, Close friends like I remember Liam & Zayn being. If you weren’t one of them & tried to talk to Louis he would probably cuss you out or knock you out, either way I tried my best to stay far away from him, but that didn’t always work…

 

 

I wince as I remembered one of the beatings I got from Louis because I accidently spilled water on him one day in the cafeteria. I still have nightmares about it.

 

 

Trying to get the old memories out of my mind I decided it would be best if I were to start unpacking. But just as I was about to unpack I got a call.

 

Hauling out my iPhone that I have just recently got for graduating I looked at the screen & saw that my best friend & well only friend Niall was calling. I slowly slide my finger across the slide button and brought the phone to my ear, I still wasn’t used to this phone.

 

 

“Hello?” I answered into the phone with a sigh.

 

You see I hate talking on the phone, it really drives me insane. I tell people to text me because at least I can ignore that & text them back at anytime, sounds mean I know, but I just don’t like phones very much. Anyways but when people call you, you actually kind of have to answer because its even more rude I find to straight forward ignore them, like an asswhole, which I am not, or I try not to be…

 

“Marcel mate! Finally you answered! I’ve been trying to get you for a while! I have awesome new mate!” he said in a sing song voice.

 

“Hurry up & tell me mate.” I just really wanted off this phone, even if that meant only a short phone call with my best mate.

 

“Open up your door first.”

 

I make my way over to my door, really confused as to why I am actually doing this. Anyways I put my hand on the doorknob twisting it, until I can pull it back. Once I open the door I am then attacked my a body.

 

 

“Please don’t hurt me!” I scream at the person now straddling me, my eyes clenched shut.

 

“Marcel! Open up your pretty eyes babe.” I open my eyes to only see Niall smirking down at me.

 

I bring him back in for a hug, probably more tighter than necessary but I don’t think he minded, I haven’t seen him in a year.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Niall laughed as he got off me & gave me a hand to help me up. Once I was stood up I saw Niall looking at me with a shocked expression.

 

“What?” I asked him snapping my fingers in front of his face.

 

“Wow Marcel you look…” He trailed off.

 

“Different.” I offered.

 

“Yeah I’d go with that. So what happened to you?” He raised an eyebrow waiting for me to explain.

 

“Well I wanted a fresh start; I didn’t want to be that ‘nerd’ anymore, so I got a make over. I changed everything about me, well as much as I can & that’s including my name. So please call me Harry now instead of Marcel, even if we’re alone I like it better.” I tell him.

 

“Wait all of this,” He gestured towards me. “ for a fresh start.” I nodded my head, smiling a bit as I did.

 

“Anyways Niall what are you doing here? I thought you were back in Ireland?” He smiled at me as he walked over to my bed, lying down as he began explaining.

 

“Well I applied to here last year & I got accepted. I decided against telling you because well I wanted to surprise you, so ah surprise!” he made a hand gesture with his hands in the air making me laugh.

 

“Mate that’s awesome! Who is your roommate by the way.” I asked him as I began to unpack.

 

“His name is Liam Payne & mate he is fit!” I stopped dead in my tracks as I herd his name.

 

“Harry you okay.” I could hear the concern in his voice.

 

“Yeah its just he was one of the ya know…” I trailed off awkwardly.

 

“Are you serious? He seems so nice, like he wouldn’t hurt as fly & his friends are nice to! Who I met last night anyways when I got here. Wait don’t tell me his friends Louis & Zayn are the other guys who bullied you!” I nodded my head slowly & turned to look at him with a smile to show him I wasn’t affected by this.

 

“Yeah and Louis is also my roommate… it’s odd & I’m kind of scared of him but I try not to let it show… & I also don’t want anyone to know who I was got it.” I told him sternly, making sure he got the message I was trying to send.

 

“Yeah sure mate I got it so no more Marcel, its Harry from now on.” I nodded my head at the boy, sitting on my bed.

 

“Yes now help me unpack.”

 

He made a groaning noise but nonetheless he helped me unpack & in a bit over a hour, I was all settled in, which was a good thing too because then the door opened.

 

Looking over from my place on the bed, my head laying on Niall’s stomach as we watched the telly, I saw that Louis was back & he stopped in his tracks to looks at us, along with Liam & Zayn.

 

“Louis mate how’re you doin?” Niall pushed my head off his stomach making me hit the bed, a groan leaving my mouth, as he went and hugged the boys.

 

“I’m good & do you know Harry already or…” I looked up from my spot on the bed, using my elbows to prop myself up.

 

“Yeah we’ve been friend for god every since we were young! Our mothers were best friends so naturally we would be too.” I herd Niall explain to them

 

 

“Oh that makes sense.” I herd what I believe to be Zayn’s voice.

 

“Harry come over here and let me introduce you to my friends!” I herd Louis’s voice come & He sounded… excited.

 

Since when did Louis Tomlinson get excited?

 

I slowly arose from the bed & made my way over to the guys, the guys I haven’t seen in months, the guys I was hoping to never see again, but alas fate is a weird thing.

 

 

“Um hi.” I said once I was over there & I cursed at my awkwardness.

 

“Well Harry this is Liam Payne & Zayn Malik, & Boys this is Harry Styles.” Louis introduced us.

 

“It’s nice to meet you both.” We all shook hands.

 

 

Seeing as it was almost supper time the guys decided to go & get some food. I got dragged too by Niall.

 

 

But as I ate my McDonald’s I observed the boys & they all seemed so carefree? They didn’t seem like they did back in high school, but I wasn’t taking any chances. Maybe I should just keep my guard up when I’m around them, make sure they aren’t just playing us like some fools.


	3. Chapter 3

As we continued eating our McDonald’s I observed each of the guys.

 

Liam was all smiles as he sat down, chatting with Zayn about I have no idea. I think they were flirting with each other which I didn’t get at all; because one: they used to bully me for being gay myself, along with other things… & 2: I thought Liam was straight, no I knew Liam was straight, the boy had a girlfriend in high school for over two years. I wonder if they’re actually still together… They probably are considering they looked so in love during high school that is. Still makes me wonder though…

 

 

& Zayn was just casually sitting their chatting with Liam, and occasionally Niall or even Louis. Zayn still seemed like the Zayn I remember from high school, he still seemed calm & collected all the time, as he was in high school. I remember Zayn was never one who truly showed their emotions much, he never really laughed in the public eye, either. Now as I’m watching him though, he is laughing, he actually seems like he is having a good time which boogles my mind.

 

& Lastly we have Louis. As I sit here munching on my chips, watching him, I can’t help but… smile? I have no clue why I’m staring well I suppose I kind of do… I may still have a crush on him, I had the crush on him even in high school, even if he bullied me, I just couldn’t get rid of the stupid crush! But have you seen that boy? He is sex on legs. I don’t know if it’s because of his blue eyes, his eyes that when I looked into them that time stopped? Or I don’t know if it was because of his attitude? I’ve always had a thing for what people call bad boys. I have no clue how it happened but somewhere down the line I had a crush on him, a crush that I thought I could loose once out of high school, but as fate would have it, he would be in my university but not just casually seeing him, no I had to live with him. My life was truly the worse.

 

But as I sat staring at him I couldn’t help but look at the smile on his face, an actually real smile. I’ve never seen him smile before so this is, this is amazing. It was weird for me seeing Louis so…carefree? I know I’ve never known him, well its not like we were ever actually friends, which I find quite sad really, I don’t know if it’s the crush talking or not, but I would of loved a chance at being his friend….

 

 

I guess I better not dwell on the past, because after all the past is the past, and deserves to stay in the past.

 

 

I was brought back into reality with someone snapping their fingers in front of my face. Shaking my head & making my curls fly everywhere, I looked only to be met with those blue eyes, those blue eyes that used to haunt my dreams, good & bad…

 

“Harry you alright mate? You’ve been out of it every since we got here, you just sat their eating your chips while staring off into space.” I looked at the others guys to see them looking at me, worry also in their eyes.

 

“Oh yeah, sorry about that my mind always tends to wander off.” I smile apologetically.

 

“Its alright mate!” Liam gave me a reassuring smile.

 

“Alright so we going back to the dorms now?” we all nodded.

 

(: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: ( : (: (: ( : (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: ( : (: (: (: (: ( : ( : ( :

 

Once we were back at the dorms, I suddenly felt exhausted. Dragging my feet behind I slowly made my way up to the dorms, falling the boys. I think Niall noticed how tired I am & Him being my best friend for so long, knew that when I am tired, I am not in a right state.

 

 

Slowly coming over he took my arm and slung it around his neck, he grabbed me by my waist & Held me tight, while I snuggled my head into Niall’s neck. I closed my eyes & let Niall lead the way.

 

 

I herd some soft chuckles from around me, I didn’t mind though because I was slowly falling asleep.

 

 

As I think we came to the door I herd Niall begin whispering to someone.

 

 

“I think he is out for the count, poor lad.” I herd him chuckle.

 

“Looks like it, & Why didn’t you tell me your best mate was coming?” oh my god that’s Louis’s voice!

 

“I thought I’d make it a surprise! & I was scared for you to meet him, because we’re naturally close, as you can see. & I didn’t want you getting jealous.” Wait why would Louis get jealous of mine & Niall’s relationship? They only met yesterday!

 

“Wait you didn’t tell him about the summer? Me & You…” what happened this summer? What the fuck am I missing? What isn’t Niall telling me? & What is this Louis & Niall.

 

“No,” I herd him sigh. “ I was going to but I got scared for some reason & I still don’t want him to know about us, I just don’t want to make things more awkward then they are…” Are my ears deceiving me? Please tell me so.

 

 

“Alright fine, when he is around we won’t act like were together… Although it’s going to be hard not to be able to hold you or kiss you… It was hard enough today.” Oh please stop Louis I don’t think my heart can handle anymore of this.

 

 

“I’m sorry Louis, I love you though.” I love you too.”

 

 

If my heart wasn’t already broken then it sure as hell is now then… I felt Niall move forward and I couldn’t have Niall kissing Louis with him holding me, quickly I moved to make it seem as I was walking up, and it actually worked.

 

“Oh I think he is going to wake up soon, I best be getting him to bed. Night babe I’ll text you late.” I felt Louis come closer & oh lord his scent, I think I’m getting high off it….

 

 

“Sounds good. I love you!” & Then I herd out door being opened which was good, I don’t think I can hold this in much longer…

 

I felt Niall shuffling around until finally I was being laid in the bed, I felt Niall kiss my forehead before whispering ‘Goodnight Marcel.” Before he left.

 

 

Once he was left I let a few tears fall.

 

Of course I could never have Louis, I was stupid to have this silly crush on him for the last three years of my life, I was a stupid naive boy, that should of known this would only end in heartbreak.

 

But why out of all the people he could have ended up with did it have to be my best mate? I know he didn’t know that he was my best mate, hell he thinks I only met him today, which I didn’t! but he doesn't need to know that…

 

 

I just really wish I never herd that conversation in the first place, but there is also that part of me that’s glad I herd it.

 

 

Just fuck everything.

_______________


	4. Chapter 4

I awoke the next morning. I just laid their in bed not moving, I didn’t want to move, I just wanted to stay here, I didn’t want to see anyone after what I herd last night.

 

I still can’t wrap my head around what I herd last night.

 

I didn’t even know Niall was into guys like that! I always thought he was straight, but I guess that assumption was wrong. What I don’t get it why he didn’t just tell me? I mean he was the first person that I told, I told him that I was gay first! He was the only one that knew for the longest time! I can’t understand why didn’t he just tell me? I mean its not like I was actually going to judge him!

 

I just really don’t understand. I want to ask him but then I know that he’ll find out that I know & then the questions will start coming, questions I don’t want to ask.

 

I know Niall doesn’t know that I liked Louis, but it hurts so much that he is dating him, I mean I can see why Louis would go for Niall, & Not me.

 

 

Niall is fit, like really fucking fit. He has these gorgeous blue eyes and he is so carefree and funny, he is so much more too. Well as for my the ‘me’ that Louis actually knows was a complete nerd! He wouldn’t of looked at me if it wasn’t to punch me or something. Now though he thinks he just met me, so he doesn’t know me, hence he can’t like me.

 

 

I wish I could have a chance with him though, I would make him the happiest guy in the world, but that’s Niall’s job not mine…

 

I herd someone’s voice flowing around the room, then some shuffling. I decided that it was time that I got up, seeing as we needed to visit our classes today & Get our books & stuff, although I would much rather lay in bed all day & mop, but I know I can’t do that.

 

With a sigh leaving my lips I hauled the blankets off me, making me shiver from the coldness.

 

Getting my sorry ass was hard if I do say so my self. As soon as I was out of bed and walked into the kitchen area of the room, Louis was there, oh but not its not just Louis in there, he is in their in only his boxers. I swear I need to get a hold of this crush before I do something I’ll regret.

 

Shaking my head to get these mental images out of my mind I began to walk over to our little fridge.

 

Louis must of noticed my presence because as I have my head in the fridge looking for food, I hear his soft voice flow through the room, making me bang my head on the top of the fridge.

 

“Oh shit Harry are you okay.” When I took my head out of the fridge, I saw that Louis was looking at me with concerned eyes, fuck doesn’t he know that he shouldn’t look me in the eyes? It’s very tempting to just jump his bones…

 

 

“Yeah s’fine just a little bump is all.” I had a hand on my head that he swatted away, he took my hand in his, does this boy even have a slight clue what he is doing to me? I mean this is the first time that he’s actually touched me in a non violent way, which feels fucking amazing. I just need to get it through my head that he has a boyfriend, a boyfriend who is your best friend, a boyfriend that betrayed you in more than one ways. Oh hell its not like he knew I actually liked him… but he didn’t tell me he was either bi or gay & he was the first person I told, nope that doesn’t hurt at all.

 

 

I was brought out of my hands by something being placed on my head. I soon realised that Louis had put a piece of ice in a cloth & wrapped it up, now it lay on my head of curls, dampening them.

 

 

“What are you doing?” I looked down into his eyes, his eyes flickered up to mine, blue meeting green & I swear I am going to go into cardiac arrest. He was on his tip toes considering I was so tall, we were just stood there staring at each other & That’s when I took my chance.

 

 

I slowly began to move my head down & He moved his head towards mine, our lips were almost brushing, that was until a knock came on the door making us jump apart. We both looked at each other awkwardly before Louis ran over to get the door, whoever it was, was getting impatient.

 

Once Louis was gone I held the ice tightly on my head, my mind still in some sense of shock from what just happened.

 

I leaned against the counter as I saw Louis come in with…Niall trailing behind him, staring at his perfect bum, but he was trying to be discreet; not working pal! I’m on to you!

 

 

“Harry what happened!” Niall ran over to me as soon as he saw the ice on my head. Well its nice to know that he would stop admiring his boyfriends ass to see if I was okay, I’m still mad at him though & I hate that I can’t show it, then he would want to know why I was mad & I don’t want to tell him that.

 

“I’m fine Niall I just hit my head is all.” I force a smile that must have seemed somewhat believable.

 

“Are you sure?” I nodded and looked at the time & Mentally hit myself, I’m going to be late.

 

 

“Ugh I gotta get ready or I’m going to be late!” I ran off into my room, throwing myself in the shower, which was too short for my liking, once I was out I hauled on my white v neck sweater and my tight black skinny’s, along with my leather jacket. Once that was done I ran on got on my brown leather boots, grabbing my wallet I was out of the room, i didn’t notice the guys looking at me with wide eyes either, nope, lets pretend Louis wasn’t looking at me.

 

 

I almost banged into Liam & Zayn when I was outside the door but I didn’t care much, I needed to get to my class.

 

“Hey Harry!” I herd them all out

 

 

“Hey!” I called back as I ran out the doors.

 

I ran all the way across campus until I got to the right building, once in there I went and got a seat, glad to be out of the apartment, also glad to finally be here in Uni.


	5. Chapter 5

The class was rather boring, I just took notes & Listened to the professor, nothing special. If anything that class was an escape from Louis & Niall, I really don’t know how I’m going to be around them… It just hurts too much, and the worst thing is Louis doesn’t even know that I like him.

 

 

I looked around to see people beginning to leave the classroom, taking this as my cue to leave; I slowly got up from my seat. Grabbing my bag and shoving my books in, I got up & left the classroom, slowly may I add.

 

 

As I was walking I looked around at everyone, they all seemed so happy and I was jealous of them.

 

I looked at a young couple, so in love. They were holding hands, smiling into one another’s eyes, both with gigantic grins upon their faces.

 

I longed for someone to love me like that, but it seemed like I would never get that, even if I changed I’ll still be a nerd, and lets face it no ones loved a nerd.

 

 

Sighing I began shaking my curl away from my eyes, mentally cursing myself for not styling it into a quiff.

 

 

As I was walking I saw a girl coming in with a giant suitcase following behind her, she looked as if she needed help, and so being my nice self I went over to her.

 

“Need a little help there?” I asked her

 

She looked up at me, her bangs in her eyes & a soft smiled glazed across her face.

 

“No I think I’m good, but thanks for the offer.” She began to decline but I took the suitcase from her, smiling as I did.

 

“Which room are you in?” She sighed but smiled at me, nonetheless.

 

“I’m in apartment C room 221!” She smiled

 

I began walking with her trailing behind & if I am being honest I’m glad she let me help, I really didn’t want to help.

 

“So why are you helping me?” She looked at me.

 

“Can’t a guy help a girl out?” I raised an eyebrow

 

“Yes but they usually want something in return.” She raised an eyebrow as I laughed.

 

“I’m gay so…” I laughed

 

“Oh god, I’m sorry for just assuming.” She covered her face with her hands

 

“Its fine darling.” I place my free arm that I wasn’t carrying the suitcase with over her shoulders pulling her closer.

 

“If you say so… & my names Anna too thought you would like to know.” She smiled up at me, I smiled back.

 

 

“I’m Harry & You know what Anna?” I asked her.

 

 

“What?” She looked at me awaiting an answer.

 

“Do you smell that,” She shoke her head a little confused. “I smell friendship in the air!” I squealed earning us strange looks.

 

“Oh my god Harry I think we’re going to get along just fine!” I herd her laugh

 

 

We continued to walk as we got to know each other a bit better but, as we know all good things must come to an end.

 

“Well then I must get packing! Text me okay.” I nodded and gave her a hug before heading back towards my room.

 

 

The walk back was nice I had my headphones in and Parachute was blasting through my ears.

 

Once I came up to my door I sighed, grabbing my key from my pocket I opened the door.

 

As I slipped in I saw all the other boys hanging around, I saw Niall & Louis sitting next to one another secretly holding hands…. Oh how I wish that was me & Louis not him & Niall, shaking my head I slipped in & tore off my shoes.

 

I took the headphones out of my ears and went over & put them on my dresser.

 

“Oh Harry you’re back!” I herd Liam’s voice

 

“Yeah I am.” I smiled back at Liam

“How was your class mate?” I herd Niall’s voice as I opened the fridge.

 

“It was actually good, better than I thought it would be anyways.” I replied

 

 

As I pulled out a bottle of water as I herd my phone make a ‘bing’ sound, alerting my of a message.

 

From-Anna

 

You still need to show me around! So meet me by the fountain in ten!!

 

Smiling I replied with a quick okay.

 

I looked at my phone to see my reflection and my hair looked horrible, sighing I walked over to the closest mirror, grabbing some hairspray & gel I put my hair into its quiff.

 

I walked over to the Telly only to see the guys looking at me, feeling a bit self conscious.

 

“Do I look alright?” I ask them nervously

 

“Hell Harry you looking fucking hot.” Zayn said eyes wide, making me blush at bit.

 

“Thanks.” I mutter

 

“So whos the hot date?” I looked at Louis as he said this, when he said it, it seemed forced? Especially his smile, maybe I’m just reading too much into this.

 

“Thanks and its not a date! I’m just going out with this girl I met.” Niall looked at me with eyes full of confusions and it was hard to hide back the smirk.

 

“Well then she’s one lucky lady.” Louis winked, but his eyes seemed...Distant?

 

I blushed and looked at the time I said goodbye to the boys & went to meet Anna.

 

 

Once I met up with Anna we went to this coffee shop that we found, we were just talking & laughing.

 

 

Once we were sat down in the coffee shop, with our coffee’s, she decided to bring something up.

 

“So Harry any important boy in your life?” Anna winked

 

“Um well there is this one guy…” I decided I should tell Anna.

 

“Oh really well who is he?” She sat up straight in her seat, looking very excited.

 

“Well his name is Louis I knew him in high school, only he doesn’t know me….” She gave me a confused glance, so I went into the story about how I changed and everything. She seemed shocked to say the least.

 

“Wait let me see a picture of you before!” I got a picture form my phone & gave it to her. She looked at the picture and then me & Back to the phone.

 

“Wow so he has no clue? & Same with his friends?” I shoke my head a no.

 

“So anyways continue on telling me about why you can’t have Louis?”

 

“Well I found out the other night he is dating Niall, remember my best friend, yeah well they are in a relationship & doesn’t want to tell me. I just don’t understand I told him I was gay, but he can’t tell me that he is? That fucking hurts Anna! I just don’t understand any of it! & I still like Louis & Niall doesn’t even know! Fuck everything is just so confusing!” I buried my head in my hands.

 

 

Feelings someone take my hands away from my face, I was then looking into Anna’s blue eyes.

 

“You know what Harry?” I cocked an eyebrow.

 

 

“I’m going to help you get Louis.”


	6. Chapter 6

As we continued to work our plan to perfection, we pretty much stayed their for 5 or more hours. Long I know. But now we have our plan figured out, so everything should be good, I hope…

 

We’ve decided to put the plan into action tomorrow when I finally let the boys meet Anna, I’m just praying, hoping that this will actually work.

 

 

As we departed our ways with a hug each I left to go back to my room. As I began walking back I hauled out my phone from my pocket to check the time, looking I saw that it was 10 pm….

 

 

Wow guess I stayed out longer than I had planned….

 

 

As I approached my room I prayed that Louis was asleep and the boys were gone.

 

Crossing my fingers I slowly opened the door while my brain kept saying ‘please be asleep, please be asleep.’

 

 

Alas I wasn’t that lucky, as soon as I opened the door I saw all the boys in there sleeping, and to make it worse Niall & Louis were cuddling. As I turned to go to my bed I almost ran into someone chest.

 

I almost screamed but someone’s hand clamped over my mouth, making me shut up. My eyes were wide as I was looking into the dark of the room, with a strangers hand over my mouth.

 

 

“Shh Harry its me Liam.” I herd him whisper in the dark.

 

I grabbed onto his hands & threw them off my face, making it easier to breath.

 

“Liam what do you want that’s so important you couldn’t sleep like everyone else?” I hissed.

 

“I need to talk to you now, in the hall.” He took my hand and dragged my out of the room, luckily no one woke up.

 

“Liam what is so important that you had to drag me out here when I was about to go to sleep?” I asked him.

 

“Because Marcel it is.” I turned into a fish trying for air within only a few minutes. My mouth was dry, my palm sweaty, my brain not functioning.

 

“H- How Liam, What.” I seemed unable to make a single sentence.

 

 

“You seemed familiar to me, and well I maybe asked Niall a bit about his friend before hand, and well once I met you, you seemed a lot different from what he described. He described someone who I remember quite well in school, and he even told me your name… So yeah Harry I know that you were or are Marcel.” My mouth was now completely dry, I didn’t know what to do, so I did the only thing I seemed to know how to do. I cried.

 

 

“Harry I didn’t meant to make you cry mate I just.” He did the unexpected next I was thinking he was maybe going to punch me, but nope. He came over and hugged me, hugged me tight, making me feel somewhat safe.

 

 

Once I was all cried out I still clung to Liam as if he were a lifeline.

 

“Thank you.” I sniffle

 

“Not a problem mate.” He gave me a soft smile.

 

 

“I’m sorry its just I don’t want people knowing that was me… I didn’t want to be bullied anymore, I didn’t want to be basically discriminated by the way I looked…. I just wanted to fit in.” I say soft into Liam’s shoulder.

 

 

“I get that & Harry you don’t know how much we hate what we did too you….” He mummer softly.

 

 

“You don’t?” I asked him

 

 

“God no we hated doing that to you especially Louis…. Anyways we kind of had to, a friend of ours was going to out us if we didn’t.” He grimaced

 

 

“Wait so you where all forced,” I pulled back from Liam’s embrace. “ none of you wanted to hurt me? Wait why did Louis hate doing it the most?” I kept firing questions at him.

 

 

“Yeah or he was going to out me & Zayn, and Tell everyone that Louis was bi.” He sighed. “As for you Louis may have fancied you a little bit….” He trailed off.

 

 

“He what!” I yelled.

 

 

Liam was quick to shush me putting his hands over my mouth, he looked around the corridors before he took his hands off my mouth once again.

 

 

“Don’t yell people are sleeping!” He scolded me

 

“He fucking liked me though?!” Liam sighed but nodded his head nonetheless.

 

“He really did I wonder what he would do if he found out that you are well Marcel.” I shoke my head.

 

“NO I don’t want him to know! I don’t want anyone knowing that I was him! They’ll treat me different and I don’t want all my old bullies back.” I tell him.

 

“Okay fine, fine, wait Harry did you like Louis?!” I look down and inspect my shoes as of they were the most interesting thing in the world.

 

 

“You did didn’t you.” I look up to Liam to see him with a big goofy grin.

 

“So what if I did or do he’s with Niall now isn’t he?” Liam’s face paled.

 

“How do you know about them? Niall told me that you didn’t know he was…. I’m going to stop talking now.” He most of noticed my angered expression.

 

“Damn right he didn’t fucking tell me! I told him first! I told him everything and still do, or I probably won’t anymore seeing as how he doesn’t fucking trust me!” I seethed

 

 

“Harry he is scared to tell you.” Liam told me softly.

 

“Why should he be scared? He knows I’d be a hypocrite to judge him!” He gave me a sorry expression.

 

 

“I don’t know…” He sighed.

 

 

“I wish he’d just tell me.” I sighed

 

 

“Like I think you should tell the rest of the boys who you are…” I gave him a stern look as if to say drop it.

 

 

I herd my phone make a ‘bing’ sighing I took it out, gasping as I read the message. Liam was quick to retrieve the phone that I dropped. He too gasped as he read the message.

 

 

I know your secret Styles, so if you want it to stay a secret I’d listen to me if i were you


	7. Chapter 7

As I lay in bed that night I had a lot of things on my mind. One thing on my mind being that Liam actually knew who I was. I’m not going to lie I’m scared Liam is going to go off and tell everyone who I am even though he told me that he won’t tell a soul. I suppose it’s just hard for me because I don’t usually trust people very easily, it takes a lot of time to gain my full trust. I think Liam is going up the ladder though; he’s already gained a bit of trust from me. I think that given proper time I will actually be able to trust Liam 100% or so I hope. 

Another reason why I can’t seem to sleep is because Liam’s words are running through my head over and over again. “As for you Louis may have fancied you a little bit” what was that supposed to mean? Did he still fancy me or was it a measly crush? If he liked me why didn’t he ever tell me? We could have been together in secret! It not like I would have told anyone if he didn’t want me to! Oh who am I kidding! He probably doesn't like me anymore because he got Niall. I can see why he wants Niall though because he’s funny, carefree, hot, fit and so much more. He is everything that I’m not. 

But what scared me the most is that text I got. I know your secret Styles, so if you want it to stay a secret I’d listen to me if I were you. That text is enough to have my head spinning, let alone everything else I’ve learned tonight. What does that text even mean? Well I know what it means, it means that if I don’t do what this ‘person’ wants they are going to out my secret, which is something I don’t want done, I don’t want to be reminded that I was or am Marcel Styles, I just don’t. I hated that name and the way I was! I changed for a reason, and I didn’t’ want people to find out about it so I hope it stays this way. But what if I don’t do what that person wants? Will they give me a warning or just tell everyone? Or worse will they have pictures? Oh who am I kidding they won’t have pictures…. Or maybe they will actually because they will probably think no one would believe them. Shoving my face down into my pillow I let out a scream of frustration. 

Turning back over I looked at my clock and saw that it read 5:00 am, sighing I took the blankets off me and slowly got out of bed, once I was up I quietly went over and grabbed a hoodie and my keys & phone, trying to be quiet as I left, I didn’t want anyone waking up. As I closed the door to dorm I began to walk down the hallway. 

I was almost out until I heard someone call my name. Looking back I saw that Louis was running to catch up to me, and I swear I almost forgot how to breathe. His hair was all over the place from sleep; his sweat pants were low on his hip, and his hoodie covering him. He looked really cute to be honest. 

“Harry wait up!” He called out; I stopped in my tracks and waited for him to catch up with me. I gave him a sweet smile once he caught up. “Hey Louis what are you doing out here so early?” I cock an eyebrow awaiting his answer. “I could ask you the same thing!” He gave me a grin, making me shake my head. “That’s true,” I grin. “I just came out for a walk couldn’t really sleep well, how about you?” I looked at him from the corner of my eye, seeing a small smile on his face, making my stomach do flips. 

“Same I haven’t been sleeping the best lately.” He gives me a shy grin. “Oh really any particular reason why?” I looked at him with an eyebrow raised. “Nah, well its just something in my past is all.” He gave a forced smile. Wait is he talking about me? Or who he used to be? Maybe Liam was right after all, maybe he was telling the truth… I think I should start trusting Liam more. “Oh tough past then?” I ask. 

“Oh you have no idea.” I gave a tiny smile and replied with “I think I do actually I never had the best high school experience either.” I tell him

“Oh so you’ve had someone make you be a bully towards other people that you didn’t want to hurt, wanted to befriend half of them, but were forced not too because someone who you considered a friend?" I couldn’t say much because honestly I was not expecting for him to tell me that, so all I mange to say comes out pretty stupid. 

“You’re gay.” He snorted as a reply “Why yes dear Harold if you must label it, that doesn’t put you off does it.” He looked at me trying to give off that he doesn’t care much what I think, but for some reason I see nervousness in his eyes, like he does actually care about what I think.

“No mate its fine and besides,” I took a deep breath if I ever want to get anywhere with this boy he is going to have to know. “ I’d be a hypocrite if I was disgusted by you.” I give him a sideways grin. His eyes go wide as he stairs at me.

“You’re gay!” he exclaimed 

Chuckling a bit out of nervousness I nodded. 

“What the actually fuck! You’ve been here for what? a day? & all the girls in my lectures are talking about you! Even a few boys!” I blushed 

“Well that’s um nice?” I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly. 

“Well you are fucking hot mate just saying.” He put his hands up in defence making me blush even more. 

I gave him a smile and me being the klutz I am trips over a rock. But I’m not lucky enough to fall alone oh god no I pulled Louis down on top of me too. I made an oof sound as my back collided with the ground, I felt a body fall on top of mine. Opening my eyes I was then looking into blue ones. Before I knew it I saw him leaning down and me up to meet him, half way there I felt our lips collide.


	8. Chapter 8

Everything was silent, I could hear anything. I didn't know what to do! It's not everyday you get to kiss the person you're in love with for three years! 

 

I didn't know whether to move my lips or not, wait it looks like Louis has that covered. 

 

His lips started to slowly move in sync with mine. 

It was honestly the best Kia I've had in my life. I felt butterflies in my stomach and oh god this was perfect. 

Slowly and much to my demise we had to brake apart due to that stupid think called oxygen. 

We just stared into one another eyes for a good while until reality came crashing back to me like someone hitting a brick wall; it hurt.

'Harry-' I cut him off.

'Why did you do that oh lord Louis! What about you and Niall Louis I-' I slapped a hand over my mouth as soon as Niall's name left my lips.

I can't believe I just said that! He thinks I don't know oh for fuck sakes! Harry you have to learn when to shut that big mouth I yours! I wonder how big Louis's mouth is... Fuck I have to stop thinking before I get a problem. 

I dared a look at Louis and he seemed confused, poor lad.

 

'How do you know about that?' He asks. 

 

I gulped. 

'Well that night when you brought me home and I was asleep in Niall's arms... I wasn't exactly asleep so I I'm herd everything.' I whisper. 

'He doesn't know that I know but wait a fucking minute you just kissed me as you're dating my best friend! What The fuck is that!' I fume 

' that's complicated.' He sighs.

'What is so complicated about it?' 

' I don't exactly love Niall anymore it was more of a fling? I was trying to get someone off my mind one night and he came and we had sex,' I winced at that and he gave me an apologetic look. 'But I never wanted a relationship with him but he wanted one and I didn't know how to say no so...' He trailed off. 

'You told him yes because you didn't want to be mean.' I finish for him. 

He simply nods in return.

'So what are you going to do?' He Burris his head in his hands and groans. 

'I don't know! I don't want to be with Niall anymore but I don't know how to tell him it's just so complicated.' He falls back on the grass. 

'Well what do you want?' I ask curiously. 

'I want you.' He looked me directly in the eyes too. 

'Me?' I squeak 

'Yes you is that so hard to understand?' I began to shake my head furiously. 

 

I herd him chuckle before he put a hand on my back, pushing me on his muscular chest. 

A sigh left my mouth. 

'Are you going to break up with Niall?' I ask him.

 

'If I want to be with you then I guess I really am going to have to do it then aren't I?' I nod my head a yes. 

No matter how much I love Louis I am not going to be completely his util he is indeed single.

He needs to be single as a Pringles before he can get with me.


	9. Chapter 9

Me and Louis walked back to our dorm rooms in silence, we occasionally shared smiles.

I was about to go into the dorm but I felt fingers grip my wrist. I looked over my shoulder to see Louis looking at me with nervous eyes. 

'Everything alright Lou?' I ask. 

'Harry what ever happens in there just know that I want you okay?' I nod my head slowly. 

'I know and it's not like you'll be acting couply because Niall still thinks I don't know.' He gives a small smile. 

'I know just remember.' He moves in and quickly attach our lips. They move in perfect sync, my stomach was going flips as it did the first time. 

Slowly pulling alway I kept our lips close as I breathed in his smell. 

'Ill remember.' My breath hit him square in the face and I saw him pull a small smile. 

I took a deep breath as I opened the door. 

Taking a step inside I herd hushed voices, I turned around and Louis just shrugged his shoulders. 

Deciding it was time to make ourselves known I quickly placed my coat on the hanger, then walked on into the room. 

Everything seemed to stop as soon as I walked into the room with Louis close behind me. Liam gave me a smirk with an eyebrow raised. I stuck my tongue out at him. I walked over to grab a cup but as I passed Liam I quickly whispered in his ear. 

'Don't say a word.' He just shook his head still having that bloody smirk on his face.

I then made my way over to the fridge and hauled out the carton of milk. I filled the glass quick and put the carton back in the fridge. 

As I took the glass in my rather large hand I turned around to see that everyone was watching me. 

'Anyone want milk?' I raised an eyebrow. 

I quickly herd mummers of 'no' and 'no thanks' 

Shanking my head I quickly downed the rest of my milk and headed do my room, passing all the boys in the living room as I did so, but not before I caught Louis's eyes. 

As I walked into my room I saw my phone on my bed. Walking over I went and picked it up; now seeing that I had a new text message. 

'Got a new boy toy now eh Styles? Wonder what you're best friend would think of that. I'd advise you to keep your distance with Louis , unless you want everyone else to know about your lover'

Attached to the text was a picture if me and Louis but not just a regular picture, no, it was us in a very heated snog. 

I gulped as I read over the text several times. Each time getting me more and more scared. 

What does this person want? Why are they trying to ruin my life? What have I ever done to them? Why do they have to ruin everything when it's almost how I want it? 

Shanking my head I scrambled to go my phone. I needed to talk to Anna and I needed to now. 

'Coffee in 10' I quickly sent the text. Waiting anxiously for a reply. 

Finally after what seemed like a hour I got one. 

'Sure meet you there!' 

I quickly hauled on skinny jeans and a white v neck, along with my leather jacket and brown boots. 

I left the room in a hast wanting to get out of there. 

I was stopped unfortunately though. 

'Hey Haz where you going?' I here him Irish accent. 

I turned around much to my dismay only to see Niall sitting pretty damn close to Louis. I shifted my eyes from the couple and settled them on Liam instead. 

'Just out with Anna! Don't wait up!' I quickly left the room then not wanting to be questioned. 

 

As I walked to the cafe I was getting more anxious by the minute! Finally though I made it. 

Quickly walking inside I saw Anna's brown hair slightly curled from behind. Walking over I have her a kiss on the head and muttered an 'hello' in her ear.

'Hey Harry! What was so wrong you needed me hear so fast?' She asked sipping her coffee. 

'Well me and Louis got closer,' I begin but before I finish she hands me over my cup of coffee she bought me. I told her a thanks before continuing. 

'As I was saying me and Louis have gotten closer and we even kissed.' I stopped and looked at her face and it held a look of pure joy! 

'But then I told him I knew about him and Niall,' I saw her face drop. ' but he told me he don't wan to date Niall he never really did; he said he wanted me & me only.' He was squealing in her seat which made me chuckle. 

'But I told him that I am not getting involved with him until he's single.' I finish. 

'Oh god Harry! That's amazing!' She gushed. 

' well I also got this.' I gave her my phone so she could read the message. Her face soon showed a look of pure anger. 

'Who the fuck is this? Who gives them the right to do this?' Her voice filled with nothing but anger. 

'I don't know but they are scaring me! This is the second time it's happened and I want it to stop.' I took a sip of my coffee. 

'Are you going to listen to them' I shake me head. 

'I just hope it stops I can't stay away from him, not since last night.' She nods giving me a sympathetic look.


	10. Chapter 10

Once we had our coffees I decided it'd be best for me to get back to my room, didn't want a search party out for me.... 

'Anyways Anna I have to go now, ill text you though okay?' I ask as I haul on my coat. 

'Course and Harry my brother Coming to visit also & I want you to meet him. I think that the both of you can be great friends!' She says rather enthusiastically. 

'Yeah sure I wouldn't mind!' I give her a quick peck on the check before leaving the cafe. 

As I walked around London I took a deep breath of fresh air. I loved being outside it was just something about being outside that made me calm, really calm actually. 

As I was walking I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, quickly hauling it out I seem I had a text from Louis. 

Smiling I open the text but only for my smile to quickly fade. 

Harry we need to talk! Meet at the park in 10   
-Louis 

I gulped. 

 

Looking over I saw that I was right in front of the park. I began to talk really slow steps towards the park; it made me think that maybe if I don't walk as fast, I won't have to face my problems as fast. 

I have to say though, I was rather curious as to what Harry had to say.   
Did he want to stop what ever we had going? Surely not right! He said he wanted me, that is unless, unless he was lying....

No Harry don't fill your head with negative thoughts! 

I was so lost in my thoughts I have yet to notice that I am in the park.

I was was brought out of my thoughts however by a hand grabbing my shoulders. And I swear I never screamed like a girl. 

'Sorry babe.' I herd a familiar voice chuckle. 

Quickly turning around I saw that it was Louis who thought it was alright to give me a heart attack. Pft what a buthead. 

'Did you just call me a butthead.' He asked with amused eyes.

How did he know I said that? Is he some kind of wizard or something? Wait Oh my god the guy I like is a wizard! Abort mission abort! 

'Harry I am not a wizard I assure you.' I gasp. 

'Then how did you know I just said that!' He laughs and I only pout. 

'Babe your talking out loud.' My checks are quick to turn a shade of red. 

'Awh babe don't be embarrassed.' He cooed. 

'What did you want my here for anyways?' I asked changing the subject. 

He looked nervous but then he finally said those words that I thought I'd never hear. 

'I broke up with Niall... We're free to be together now H.' I hauled him into a tight hug. 

'Oh god I can't believe this!' I whisper I'm his ear. 

'Well believe it baby! I'm all yours!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for these short chapters! They'll get longer!


	11. Chapter 11

I honestly couldn't believe it, like fuck. 

Is this what it's like to be on cloud nine? I thought to myself.

I don't know how I got so lucky? I know Louis doesn't know about who I was... But he likes me, so once I gather the courage and tell him, will he still want to be with me? Will he still even like me? 

Groaning i feel back on my bed, hands covering my face. I sat up once again and grabbed my phone from its place on my bed. As I opened it I seen that I had an unread text. 

Taking a deep breath I opened the text only to relieve a breath. It was only Louis texting me, not the stalker. 

-Hey babe! I miss you xx 

I smiled and sent him back a quick text in reply. 

-I miss you too baby! 

Once that was done I stood up from the bed, shivering as my bare feet shut the floor. 

It was quite chilly today. 

I walked to the cupboard to grab a glass, then going over to the sink to full me up glass of water. Turing off the taps I took a sip of my water. 

I smiled as the cool liquid slide with ease down my throat. As I was going to go back to my room I here what I thought was a cry. 

I slowly walked towards Niall's room and pressed my ear against the door,carefully. 

What I herd on the other side of the door made me wince. 

Niall's sobs were quite loud if IM being honest.

I slowly turned the nob and made my way into the room. Carefully I walked over and laid down on the bed next to him. I draped an arm around him and cuddles him from behind. 

'Niall what's wrong?' I asked even if I already knew the answer. 

'I am so stupid Harry.' He cried. 

He turned around and flung his arms around me and cried. I shut my own eyes tight to stop my own years from falling.

I did this to him, this is all my fault. If I would of just told Louis I didn't like him then none if this would be happening now. 

'But then you'd be miserable' a voice reminded me in the back of my head. 

I said nothing else just held Niall as he cried, finally though he was fast asleep. 

I carefully slipped out of bed without waking Niall. 

Once I was back in the safety of my own room I closer my door and slide down the wall. My head was in my knees when I herd my phone going off. 

I fished my phone out of my pocket and quickly slide the aero thing across. 

'Hello?' I answer.

'Harry where are you? You promised me once my brother was in town you'd meet him!' I smile as I realize it's Anna. 

'Hey yeah I remember! Where you guys too know? Ill come and join?' I could basically feel her smile over the phone, of that even makes sense. 

'Yay! And H we are at the coffee shop.' I told her a quick bye and I hung up my phone. 

I quickly hauled on my jacket and shoes and checked on Niall real quick before leaving. 

It was a nice peaceful walk to the coffee shop, it was a beautiful autumn day. 

Once I entered the coffee shop I looked around for Anna, once I noticed her I walked over and poked her back, to capture her attention. 

She turned around only to fling her arms around me in a right hug, I laughed. 

That was until I looked at her brother to only loose my ability to breath. 

There he sat with a smug look on his face as he stared me down. I tried to supers my urge to vomit, and go cry in a corner some where as I stared into those familiar brown eyes. 

He was now here again as if a pimple. It may go away for a whole but it ways comes back. 

I looked at his once more and i just wanted to die. 

Who is this person you may ask?

That person is my worst nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry's it's sooo short!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy balls this is short....

My mouth went completely dry and I stared into his grey eyes. My palms began to sweat, making it a sure sign that I was nervous. 

'Alright then Harry this is my brother Max. Max this is my friend Harry!' He got up and stuck out his hand for me to shake. 

I wanted nothing more than to slap his hand away and shout horrid words at him, but me being the nice guy I am, jut shook his hand muttering a small 'hello'

'Harry sit down and stay a while!' Anna whined. 

I gave her a small smile as I sat down next to her, and the devil was across from me. 

He started at me with a smirk ok hi face and it was really irritating me to no end. I just wanted to jump across the table and bitch slap him! Wait no that sounds to girly... Ill punch him! That's what I'll do. 

I was to busy making up different ways to murder Max for all the shit he's put not just me, but Louis and the other boys. 

I was brought out of my glorious thoughts by Anna calling my name. 

'Harry I asked you a question!' I shook my head muttering an apology. 

'Sorry what was it?' She shook her was but still smiled. 

'You said you wanted to get a job right? Well I herd Mc.Donald's was hiring! Maybe you could try there?' I smiled at the idea. 

'Sounds good to me! Ill drop by there when I leave here.' She smiled and kissed my check.

'So Harry I don't have to worry about you steeling my sister now do I?' I began to frantically shake my head, while Anna laughed. 

'God no Max. We're just friends besides Harry here has a boyfriend already.' I saw his face quickly turn to one of disgust. 

'You're one of those then?' Anna was quick to glare at her brother. 

'What the fuck is that supposed to mean Max?' She snapped. 

'It means exactly what I fucking implied. All my years in high school I tried to kill the faggot in my school,' he sent me a smirk which made chills run down my spine.' And now you're telling me you're friends with one?' He glared. 

'Yeah I am friends with one too! And does it really matter what sex you prefer?' Her eyes were focused on his. 

'Yes it Does! He's a faggot Anna!' I took a glance at Anna to see unshed tears in her eyes.

'Well then I guess I'm a faggot too then.' She whispered before jumping up and leaving. 

I took a glance at Max to see his eyes dancing with anger.

Before I knew it I was tackled to the floor, my head hitting first making me wince. 

'What the fuck have you done to my sister you bastard! I know who are Marcel! I know everything! My sister told me and I had to come make sure it was really you! And now that I know it's you, I guess I can finally tell you that the texts were all me, everything was all me. Now Harry you've fucked up so many people's lives so why don't you just get out of town?' He started at me with hatred. 

'I am not leaving!' I seethed. 

'I'd advice you too because other wise ill tell Niall about you and Louis, ill tell everyone your secret. Ill make up bullshit just to make your life a living hell.' I gulped. 

'Get the fuck out of town.' 

\----  
Well shit just went down! 

Also sorry if its short!


	13. Chapter 13

Harry's P.O.V

I walked down the streets of London with tears falling freely down my face. I didn't know what to do... I know if I stay here everything is going to go to hell I know that, but I don't want to leave! 

I know Max was not bluffing when he said he'd tell Niall and then everyone my secret, and then more bullshit just so I no longer have a life. 

I wish I could be brave enough to face this... I wish but I don't think I'm strong enough. 

He knew what he needed to do even if he didn't want to do it. He needed to get out of town and fast. 

He ran back to campus and ran into his room, glad that nobody was in there. 

He took his suitcase out from under his bed and chucked it on the bed. Then making his way towards his closet an grabbing all his clothes and chucking it into his suitcase, tears falling down, trying to keep the sob down that want so badly to come out. 

 

Once I had my clothes and all my belonging packed I went over to my desk and quickly hauled out a piece of paper. 

Dear Louis,

I'm sorry I am so fucking sorry. If you're reading this well I am gone, and I can't tell you why or where. I want you too know that you're so special to me Louis you have been for three and a half years. You're probably wondering how if I only meet you a few months ago right? Well I actually went to your school and oh god please don't hate me for not telling you this, I was scared, terrified even and I still am but Lou, I was or still am Marcel Styles. There I said it my biggest secret. I hated my life Louis so fucking much that I didn't want to be him anymore, thought it would be better I pretended to be someone different, and it worked for the most part... 

Louis I love you so much even after everything you've done to me I still love you. I don't know how but I do and ill never stop Louis. We will meet again one day I know it because we have to, we can't not just meet again. 

Louis you give my life do much meaning, your hugs give me strength, your kisses make me feel loved, your basically the only person that I can stand for long periods of time, I feel like such a dick for not telling you this is person... 

But Louis I just want you to know that I love you and I always will, fuck Louis you're amazing and don't let anyone tell you different. 

I can't tell you right now why i am leaving... But maybe one day I will. And one day ill be able to tell you how much you mean to me in person, and get my hug of strength and kiss of love from you. 

Tell the boys I love them and I am so so fucking sorry, especially Niall because he is bond to find out about us... 

Anyways Lou I have to cut this letter short I love you, don't forget it!

Love always.   
Harry. 

A few tears fell on the letter but I didn't really care. I grabbed my bags and took another look at my room before leaving. 

I walked down the hall smiling at the groups of people until I came to Louis room. I slide the letter under the door and quickly knocked, running behind the next wall so he couldn't see me. 

I watched as he emerged through the door looking confused until he saw the letter. I watched him read it and I couldn't stay longer because the look on his face will forever hurt me. 

I ran out through the campus and hauled a cab once I was in the street. I got a cab to the train station. 

I picked Paris that's a good place to starts new life right? It better be... I hope Max is happy now...

 

I got on my train leaving everything and one of loved back in London.


	14. Chapter 14

I was talking with Liam about none sense really, my mind was somewhere on my curly haired, green eyed lover. Just the thought of him made me smile like an idiot. My thoughts however where interrupted by Liam waving a hand in my face.

'Louis mate you alright?' I blushed at that.

 

'Yeah sorry I guess my mind is just wandering off is all.' I replied. 

'Thinking about Harry are you?' He smirked. 

 

'What? What the are you on about? There is nothing going on between me an Harry.' I tried to deny because Harry and I both talked this true and this it would be best if we kept a secret for a while, not forever just until Niall is okay with our break up... And I know the others won't kill me. 

'Don't play dumb with me Louis who do you think he came to or advice?' He replied. 

'Well then I guess you do know...' Suddenly there was a knock on the door and I was really glad for that because I gave me an excuse to drop this conversation. 

'I'll get it.' I mumbled as I left a proud looking Liam. 

 

I made my way towards the door, grabbing the Knob and pushing it open. 

 

'Hell-' I stopped mid sentence because there wasn't anyone outside our door.

 

It left me wondering if someone was trying to play a trick on me or What. I looked down each side of the hall way to only see empty halls, I was getting ready to close the door when I saw a small envelope on the floor. 

 

Bending down so I could pick up the envelope I picked it up and examined it in my hands. I looked at my name on it and my breath hitched because I knew that hand writing anywhere. 

 

I looked around once more to see if I could see my curly haired boyfriend anymore but alas I could not.

 

I opened the envelope as I entered the room once again, my eyes widen as I read each sentence, feeling my heart break. I'm at probably the fifth sentence and I'm already sobbing. I continue to read this letter, a letter that broke my heart. 

 

Not only has Harry left me for no reason but he was and is my high school crush? I didn't think my knees could hold me anymore and I was right because I was then falling down onto the ground, tears free falling from my eyes. 

 

'Louis?' I faintly herd Liam's voice. 

 

I then felt hands grab my face and I was then looking into Liam's brown eyes, they showed that he was worried and concerned. Through my tears I shakily grabbed the letter and gave it to Liam. 

I watched as he read it and his facial expressions went from confused, to worried, stunned, and last but not least anger. 

 

'He broke up with you over a letter? & told you very thing through a letter? Is he that much of a coward that he couldn't explain and say this to your fucking face!' He fumed. 

I only sobbed harder though and I felt Liam arms go around my waist and haul me on his lap, I pressed my face into his neck, soaking his neck an shirt in tears.

 

 

Harry's POV

Once I was off the train I let out a shaky sigh, still not fully okay from crying the whole two hour train ride. I knew what I did was selfish and cowardly. 

I'm still not sure on why I choose to come here... I could of tool the easy way out and told Niall I was fooling around with his boyfriend and took what ever punishment Max wanted to give me... But I knew he would probably kill me. He think I some how turned Anna gay which I never! How does one even do that? I didn't even know she was for fuck sakes. 

My life just changed... One moment I was happy and the next I'm fucking missable. Lovely. 

Taking a deep breath I then began making me way out of the train station. I was having a hard time reading everything though because I can't speak French very good. I know Im stupid for picking a French country even if I can't speak the language... My head was not in it's right mind when I decided to travel here. 

I flagged down a taxi with no problem but then I came across a problem... I didn't know where to go from here. 

'Uh do you speak English?' I mentally slapped myself. 

I herd him chuckle before looking at me from is rear mirror. 

'Yeah I do mate so where you off too?' I hesitated before answering. 

'M'not sure... What's a good hotel around here I could stay at?' I see him thinking before he is starting the car. I don't bother to ask him where I'm going, just lets him lead me to where ever he's going. 

Finally though we ended up at some fancy hotel and I have the can driver his money and he gave me a hand shake along with his number, we was around my age so I suppose it would not hurt to call him, I really could use a friend...

I sigh as I made my way into the hotel and Then got my room, thinking tomorrow ill go look for a an apartment and job. 

 

I then proceeded to go up to my room and once there I plopped down into the soft bed, smiling into the pillow. 

I hauled out my phone to see the time but my smile falling instantly as years came to my eyes.

My lock screen was a picture of me and Louis. It's when we were at the park he was sitting down leaning back onto the tree while I was in his lap, my forehead against his as we both smiled at one another. 

Although my home screen was worst because that was me and Louis actually kissing... 

I quickly threw my phone across the room an buried my head into the pillows, thoughts upon thoughts were crossing my mind but the main thought was. 

What have I done?


	15. Chapter 15

Harry's P.O.V

Its been officially a month since my life has taken a turn for the worse. A month full of sadness, anger, guilt, resentfulness & sadness once again. 

I stayed laid in my apartment the one that I bought the second day i've been here, i've only left when I have to go to work or need food, i'd stay here though if it were my choice. 

This last month has been so hard. I can't take it without Louis next to me. I want to just sneak up behind him & wrap my arms around his tiny waist and watch as a breath taking smile would grace his face. I want to be able to take him out on dates and hold his hand, just watch as he smiles, as he grabs me into a tight hug.... then when he would slowly lean in so his breath hit me straight into the face, leaving me weak at the knees before he would press out lips together. I missed Louis's kisses so much... He would always put so much emotion, passion, love into them... He made me feel so special.

With a shake of my head I tried to rid myself of those memories because i couldn't think about those things because then I would jump on a train & make my way back to him, and then he would probably cuss me out or slap me... maybe both. 

Sighing I got my lazy ass off my bed, making my way towards the shower. My shower was quick, unfortunately I have to be at work in an hour & I was already running behind, not like I could afford to be more late.

Once done I hurried into a pair of my black skinnies along with a low V neck grey shirt, once done I ran through the door, grabbing my bike on the way. 

Once I was out of the building I stopped & got onto my bike making my way to work, smiling at the man selling bread, making a mental note to stop there on my way back from work to get some lovely fresh bread.

I made my way down the streets of Paris, smiling at people on the streets. I peddled my way towards the bookshop i'm currently working at. Once there I got off my bike, grabbing the chain from my back pack I wear on my back, I chained my bike to the bike rack, I check to make sure it was secure because quite frankly I didn't want anyone steeling my bike.

I made my way inside the store taking in a deep breath as i entered & smiling as the smell of old books hit my nose.

 

To most people the smell would be what you could consider gross, but to him he loved everything about the smell. 

He didn't know why he loved it so much, he didn't know if it was because it reminded him of the library back in Holmes Chapel or back at the University. 

He smiled as he saw his only friend here in Paris, who just so happened to also work at the same place as him. 

She was the only source of positive in Harry's life at the moment, not that Harry minded, he loved her, she was like the younger sister he's always wanted.

"Hey Aria." he greeted her with a hug, she hugged back just as tight.

"Harry i've got a surprise for yoooou!" She sang.

Raising an eyebrow I asked, " And what is that?" She smirked. 

"Harry I know how much you've been missing home an-" I stopped her right there.

"Of course I miss home! but I can't go back! you know what i've done, everyone most likely hates me, & to be honest I don't blame them because I also hate me." I admitted. 

"Harry stop being so hard on yourself!" she demanded. "You made a mistake,yes, but who hasn't made a mistake in there life?" I didn't answer, knowing she was right." exactly! Harry we are going back to Manchester & we are getting your friends back & Your life back on track & most importantly we are getting your man back." 

"Are you serious?" I whisper.

"yes Harry you're like an older brother to me! I hate seeing you like this... & If there is anyway that I can help then I am going to do it! So after out shift we are going to go home & pack & meet at the train station, is that clear?"

"Crystal."


	16. Chapter 16

The ride back to London was a bit nerve wracking if I'm being honest. I was terrified to phase not only my friends, but Louis. 

Oh god Louis probably hates me with all he's got, I've done nothing but case him heartbreak and for what? My own selfish reasons. I was nothing but selfish when I left only thinking about me and my feelings. I never once thought about my friends or Niall or even Louis for fuck sakes! The guy I finally got after three years if loving him from afar. And what did I do? I gave all that up because I was scared of a few threats. 

The threat shouldn't of mattered though, nothin should of because I would probably still have Louis with me at this moment, and not be scared of going home to see him after a month of no phone calls, texts, Skype, emails or not even a good explanation on why I left, I have him nothing. I'm such a selfish prick.

Sighing I take out my headphones. Keeping them securely in my hand I look at where we are & see that in just one more stop, it's our stop...

Gulping I twisted in my seat so I was fasting Aria. I gently shook her shoulder and smiled as he moved to sit up.

'Are we there?' She replied sleepily.

Chucking i shook my head before replying. 'No the next stop is wear we get off.' She nodded and then laid her head back on my shoulder. 

'Yeah know he's probably going to be mad,' I gulped. 'But I can't talk from knowing him but the way that you talk about him, I feel like I know him too, ya know?' I nodded my head. 'Well he will probably yell at you a bit,' I winced. 'But he will probably hug you or at least hear you out.'

'I really hope you're right Aria.' Sh lifted her head off my shoulder and smiled. 

'Only one way to find out.' She gestured towards the now opened door. 

Taking a deep breath I got up, gathering my stuff in my shaky hands I made my way off the train.

Once we were out of the station I hauled a can because Aria claimed 'I haven't been here in a while and don't know the streets'

As we were driving in the cab I was shaking and Aria could notice it too. She placed her hand on my knee causing me to look up at her and give her a small smile.

'Okay we are here!' The cab guy called out.

I hauled out my wallet and have the cab driver the required money he needed, plus a little tip.

Once we were out I took in the view of my university. It was all still the same. The people the view the teachers; all the same. 

'Nice place.' I herd Aria mutter. 

'Okay now where do we go? I have to clue.' Taking her hand I began to lead her towards my dorm room, or at least I still hoped it was mine...

As we were going up the steps, I've dropped Aria's hand by now, I seen Zayn and Liam. 

My eyes widened in panic and I quickly hauled Aria into the building, hoping, praying that they didn't seen me.

Looks like I have to luck what so ever because Liam and Zayn come barging in the door with a shocked, angry, happy look on their faces. Once they spot me they come running over towards me. I put my hands over my face incase they try and punch me, but all I feel are arms wrapped around my waist as I fall back a bit.

'Fuck styles where have you been? You had us worried sick! Especially Lou! Mate that letter was uncalled for!' Liam's rumblings stopped as Zayn placed a hand on his shoulder.

'Mate what happened? And you might want to give me a good answer before I kill you for breaking Louis heart.' I winced at his choice in words.

'I was threatened,' I say slowly. 'I got scared when he told me to get out of town... He said that he'd tell all my secrets that he somehow knew. He also said about how he would make up lies and horrible stuff if I didn't leave... I just got so scared and I was a selfish prick. I just had to leave I-' I trailed off keeping my eyes cast down.

I felt arms wrap around me as he whispered. 'He is in his room, go get your man'

Hauling back I gave him a smile and ran off towards the stairs, not stopping till I got to Louis door.

Knocking and knocking till he answered.

'Hell-' he looked like a dear caught in headlights.

'H-Harry?' He stuttered.


	17. Chapter 17

Staring into those stunning blue eyes I felt a smile slip onto my face which was soon gone by Louis snapping out of his gaze, and starting to close the door in my face. Moving quickly into action I stopped the door from being closed tight because, because I knew that if this door was too now close, so would any chance reaming with Louis; and I couldn't bare to let that happen.

"Louis please let me in." I begged.

"No you're not coming in! For fuck sakes Harry you fucking left, and you only left me a note. No explanation, NOTHING! you broke my fucking heart. Now can you please leave me the fuck alone?' His voice came out hostile and it was then that I knew that I hurt him, so bad. 

"Louis please let me explain! I-" He quickly cut me off when snapping open the door & looking at me with such an intense glare. 

"explain what? How you're fucking Marcel? the kid that I fucking bullied but secretly liked? You didn;t think that I should know that? Jesus Harry i spent days crying over about how much of a fuck tard I was for doing that to him- you. And what makes it worse is that I told you, I fucking told you I did bad things and you knew those things? And didn't tell me that you knew, you about that fact who you were?" He stopped for a moment to catch his breath. "And another thing was that you fucking lied about who you were! Harry who lies about who they are?"

Cutting in I quickly replied, "Louis I didn't want to be him anymore, I wanted a fresh start, and well, I got one."

His blue eyes quickly filled with fury. "You could of at least told me who the fuck you were for god sakes! Harry i'm in love with you & You just lied about the whole thing! You lied about who you were, God only knows what else you've lied about. Was our whole relationship just a lie to you? Just so you could get close to me and then hurt me, like I did to you? Was that your plan Harry? Because if it was then congratulations it worked." His eyes were starting to water but I didn't mind it die to the fact that tears were already free falling own my pale face.

"No Louis, God no our relationship was real so fucking Louis. I loved you & I still do," Taking a deep breath I began to once again talk." I was a coward Louis this guy threated to expose me to everyone & Make up viscous rumors if I didn't leave. I was so scared that I left, I fucking left like the coward I am. The whole time in Paris; which is where I went, I felt horrible. I missed the boys, my family, and most of all I missed you so much that there was a ache in my heart that just wouldn't go away. Anna a friend that I made in Paris was tired of me mopping around got us a train ticket and well here I am, standing in your door way begging with all my heart forgiveness that I don't deserve." I brought my hands up to my face and cried, cried so hard that I started to hiccup & cough everywhere.

I felt warm hands grasp mine as they pulled my hands away from my face, reveling my tear stained face. Looking down I saw Louis looking at me, him too with tears in his eyes.

"Do you promise to never run away again? no matter what it is & to come to me?" I nodded my head.

"Do you promise to never lie to be again? And to be yourself?" Once again I nodded.

"Good." he replied.

I soon felt a pair of soft lips on mine and I had to smile, because he's kissing me, he's back. 

 

Pulling away i kept close so that our foreheads were touching. 

"I love you so much." I whispered quiet enough, so it would seem like a secret just between the two of us.

"I love you too."

So maybe everything that I've been trough was to just get me here, here at this moment, because now i'm happy. I'm truly happy nothing can bring me down from this high that i'm heaving.

I have nothing in mind, not that i'll have to talk to Niall & get our friendship sorted out, i' m not thinking about anything except for this wonderful boy in front of me smiling a smile so beautiful he looks like an angel.

In this moment i've never been so content before & I have this feeling that it will never wear off.

So maybe after all this time i've found my true identity, i'm not the nerd Marcel, Nor the hot one Harry. I'm simply a mix of both and as much as I wish my 'Marcel' side never existed, i'm glad it does because it makes me who I am.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do I get an award for worse ending possible? Like i'm really sorry that this ending sucked.... BUT THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO HAS READ I CAN'T BELIEVE IT;S OVER OMG


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